OF THE BEHOLDEN

You have called for me to be set apart.

The path you have laid before me is rocky and at times broken by sharp stones, but it is a path you have set for me in these days where fidelity and the love of men have grown cold.

Even so, I am weary and am I tired of the roar of the prideful and the callous, full of the fruit of blighted hearts championing an ethos of might and shock.

My heart is heavy over an eternal birthright and calling sold for mere pottage. And divine rights claimed, I see accusations and fingers pointed calling out sin and blindness all the while the planks lay thick in their own eyes.

I am wearied by justifications and I think of the ancient prophets, beholden to no man but their own Lord. Risking their all, their safety and names.

Theirs, voices in the desert crying out to ways disregarded and a people disinterested, their voices crying out against powers rough and mean.

But I then stop and remember.

I remember that I am no better than any man. I am fallible and given to my own faults.

May I recall this truth, that I was brought forth in iniquity and in sin was I born. But even so He delights in truth and the inward me.

So I will take no part in cruel works, nor will I live divided by any allegiance but mine to Him. And in this secret place He teaches me His wisdom.

O Lord, create in me a clean heart, that I might remember who I am to be.

Renew a right spirit in me that I might please you and that I might not take up arms for the might of men.

Keep me close to your own heart and the things that truly matter and stoke the flame of the joy of my salvation like burning coals upon my tongue.

Send me, a man of faults, a broken man, send me to proclaim your goodness and to remind those of who you really are.

Let my lips speak your truth and never may I lord my own will over others and let my tongue not slander, or rest divisively or speak cruelly.

May I be made by you to hold an unblemished heart, one clean and pure and may my spirit be right in your eyes.

Clean my heart out so that I might be changed to reflect your goodness and mercy.

Oh Lord, you are full of grace and you are slow to anger. You are rich in love and you are good to all.

May all know that you by your very nature are justice personified, but also that you are compassionate and full of unyielding mercy and longsuffering.

May all know that you are your own and not a symbol or a cudgel to be used to spread the agendas of men.

Your lips do not ridicule as those of men do, nor do you use your tongue to demean.

You are not like those who are angry and fickle, who breathe mean threats of retribution and who boast of their own supremacy while holding darkened hearts.

Your heart is gentle and good, and you will never bend a bruised reed or snuff out a smoldering wick.

Your lips they do not mock nor do you claim the sides of shrewish men.

You are the Lord of the Neither as you once told Joshua outside of the city of Jericho.

So create in me a clean heart to live justly and to look on others as you would look on me. Let me live by the fullness of the commandment of the law of the prophets, to love those as I would be loved. My neighbor here or my neighbor far from me.

May I never hold the partiality lines drawn by men but may I be about the bridge building you have called me to.

And may I grow bravely despite what my fears might tell me, to be like those prophets of old who spoke out against injustice, and the things that do not bear with your Spirit and may I hold fast even if I should stand alone.

May I hold tightly to You and may I be cleansed with a renewed spirit and may my giftings increase to build up and never to destroy.

And teach me to know your heart above all else.